[Oh, what do you know. Child abuse again. You know, this was becoming something of a running theme in this household, and he should stop being surprised about it.
Vil took the pan off the heat and turned to put all his focus on Lyney.]
Hasn’t it? Because you’re falling apart at the seams without it, and I would say that’s a big problem you’ve likely been teetering around instead of fixing for a very long time.
[Vil waited for Lyney to get the pasta through the strainer , the last thing this boy needed was to get jostled while playing with boiling water.]
Lyney, come here.
[Vil gently and slowly took Lyney’s hand once he was free of his tail, and pulled the boy into a hug. He seemed to desperately need one right now.
This boy was so embroiled in that toxic masculinity “men don’t cry” nonsense, and he was having none of that.]
You’re not okay right now, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve suffered trauma on top of trauma, and now you’ve been taken here. No one is expecting you to be fine. In fact, I would honestly be incredibly unsettled if you were completely fine.
I’m not sure what you’re trying to prove, or who you’re even trying to prove it to, but there’s no point. You’ve faced your hardships and come out on top. That’s enough.
[ In this moment there were no words he could say, the vast repertoire of fancy words and skills of his just falling short. He could almost hear his heartbeat ringing in his ears. Falling apart at the seams? Since when was that something that could be used to describe him, and why was it so, SO hard to manage to deflect those words?
Once the pasta had properly been strained, Lyney hesitated and just about backed away once the other took his hand. He went to protest but found himself in a hug that made his eyes widen, breath catching in his throat.
It was so warm and his heart ached horribly, as if gripped in a painful vice. A reminder how much he missed the contact from his sister, who definitely wasn't here. She wouldn't have avoided him for this long and just trying to insist Vaeros was keeping her from him just didn't feel right. How long could he have kept pretending she wasn't...? It was a bitter, souring thought and his shoulders slumped a little, bringing up his arms as to gently hug Vil in turn. ]
...Is it... really enough?
[ Lyney's voice is quiet, unsure and nothing like his usual self. That can't be helped, and the same could be said for how he couldn't afford to pull away just yet. ]
Trauma on top of trauma? You make it sound so bad... but it really isn't. We have a place to call our home and we're safe there... things have gotten better since we were saved by Father that day.
[ In his eyes, there was nothing wrong with that. Not being on the streets and having a warm home for his sister was all he could have asked for. They'd met Freminet and now look where they were. How could that be so wrong? ]
[He had to chuckle a little at that, a boy that fought his way out of poverty with his sibling by picking up magic, and here he is thinking it's not that big of a deal.]
You were on the streets as a child, and not only did you manage to avoid harming yourself for the sake of an income, you picked up a trade all on your own. Not everyone can accomplish that, very few could, in fact.
[Survival may not seem like the greatest accomplishment to the one that lived the experience, but perhaps he needed the perspective of a normal outsider to spell it out for him a bit better. ]
But that doesn't mean you haven't been hurt by your experiences, and having a better life now doesn't magically make those old wounds disappear.
This is the first time you've been forced to be separated from your sister like this since the incident you told me about, isn't it?
[Lyney's level of delusions over where she might be didn't come out of nowhere. He was trying to cope with something he was struggling to handle. It was why he was leaning into this hug now, and why Vil was making it a point to gently rub Lyney's back now, to try and further coax him into relaxing. They were talking, Vil was making some headway. The mask was gone, at least for the moment, so Vil was here to offer the comfort he needed to get back on his feet.]
Now tell me, who would possibly have the right to tell you, after what you've experienced, that you're not allowed to show your sadness and fear?
[ If these were regular circumstances, one could argue that Lyney's mental fortitude could have withstood this onslaught. He'd be able to brush things off as normal without even thinking twice, not leaning a bit into something as simple as a hug while listening to what Vil had to say.
He'd kept both himself and his sister alive, managed to get them off the streets and survived things most normal people might not have been able to. Learning magic had been hard and time consuming but he'd managed it, and now was VERY well known all across Fontaine for his and Lynette's shows. That wasn't something normal people could have done so easily, huh?
Lyney opened his mouth to say something; anything at all. There were no protests he could really manage, lies dying on his tongue as fast as they formed. His real thoughts bitter like poison and harder to ignore. ]
Yeah... it is.
[ The truth felt hard to admit but didn't taste as sour to him as he thought it'd be, a quiet admittance to his housemate whose hand was soothing as it rubbed at his back. Archons, he was entirely too tired and this moment was truly making him begin to realize this.
He closed his eyes and a slight, bitter laugh escaped him, lips curled into a wry smile even if Vil couldn't see it. ]
Father always told us that we shouldn't show weakness in front of others. That's always how it's been for as long as i've been there.
[Vil was absolutely pleased with the way Lyney was slowly starting to unwind. He kept up the gestures of comfort, and let Lyney hide away in the hug.]
You know, in my world that was a common mindset as well. That boys shouldn’t cry, that they had to be strong and never show “weakness”.
But people started realizing that forcing boys into that role was hurting them and causing more damage rather than making them “stronger”. Your father simply might not know better yet.
[He hoped by phrasing it gently it would be easier to Lyney to accept it. Vil knew nothing of his father, so he wasn’t in a place to judge what he was assuming was a “him”. Vil absolutely was judging him regardless, but he wasn’t about to make that known. Lyney clearly held his father in high regard, so framing it like a regular human mistake might make it easier to accept.]
It’s like acting. I get paid quite a bit to act, because it requires a lot of skill, focus, and energy to do well. In short, it’s exhausting, and that’s only doing it for short bursts of time.
Pretending to be “strong” and in control is using the same set of skills and effort, but there’s not even any payout. There’s no break either. Is it really so surprising that you’ve worn yourself out?
So come now, there’s no need act if no one’s paying you for it. Save that for the stage, not your house.
[ This time? That laugh of his was less bitter and almost amused for a second. He got the point and all but... the interpretation was a little off, which was just a little funny to him somehow.
Granted the information given was limited so it wasn't like Vil knew otherwise, and he wouldn't fault him for it. All it meant generally was it was similar to what he had going on back home, but before he could really comment on that? First and foremost was that one comment about his father. ]
I'd love if it was something like that but... she definitely knows better. We cannot complete our jobs properly if we let our emotions cloud our judgment or actions, so it's not just the boys who were told that.
[ Given that he was sure Father wanted him to succeed her, it felt all the more important that he keep things up the best he could. That's what instinct told him, anyway.
Then there was the perspective of someone who had an idea what it was like to be doing this sort of thing all the time. He'd just been acting. Pretending. Telling himself that he was fine. That he'd be okay. It was better that he had been the one to end up here and not Lynette or Freminet, but in the end it'd just worn him down to this point where he didn't want to leave this warm embrace.
A soft breath exhaled out from him, seeming to now fully relax as fingers curled in the fabric of Vil's shirt a bit more. What followed was quiet but Vil would still be able to catch it. ]
...hah... I... really miss Lynette. It hurts not having her here..
[You know, this was all starting to sound suspiciously like the mafia. Luckily, Lyney was busy hiding his face so he couldn’t see Vil staring into the middle distance as that thought settled. Here he was thinking he’d been adopted by a gruff but backwards law enforcement officer that busted a human trafficking ring, but no. Apparently it was closer to some sort of mafia feud or something?
Well, he’s not going to ask. Lyney was opening up and the last thing he needed was to feel judged. Again, Vil was indeed judging, but keeping that to himself.]
I’d say the logic still applies. Outside of your work, you need to be able to drop the persona, forcing anyone to maintain that indefinitely will only cause more harm than good.
[He would have been content simply standing in silence while Lyney took the comfort he needed, but he heard those quiet, muffled words. He couldn’t take that pain away, and Lyney needed to just let himself feel it- but maybe he could help ease some of the worry.]
I can’t magically bring her here, but I might be able to put your mind at ease.
The only person i've really ever done that with... she isn't here.
[ To an extent he understands what Vil means and where he's coming from but it's new to him. Lynette was really the only person out there who knew what the real 'him' was like, the one with all his walls down. It was part of why he found her not being here to be especially hard on him, too many unknown factors having him keep up his guard more than usual.
He was incredibly drained and tired, not really registering that he was almost clinging to the other teen at this point.
Instinct still made it hard for him to completely let down ALL of his walls but enough of them were down due to his exhaustion that this was even possible. His nerves were absolutely shot and it felt like he was grasping at straws with some of the things he'd tried to rationalize lately, and that wasn't even counting how he wanted to try and make a name for himself here but it felt so wrong to try and do so without Lynette. ]
Oh? How would you do that?
[ A lot of the usual cheer was lacking from his voice, but there was still enough interest there that Vil would hopefully be able to tell that he was genuinely curious here.
Otherwise? Lyney sure was content to remain exactly where he was at the moment. ]
You need to learn to drop it on your own. You can’t simply rely on a singular person. I know that change won’t happen overnight, but it’s something you’re going to have to take the initiative to improve.
And I’ll be here to help, even if the only thing you’re comfortable asking of me is to help distract you, or just to keep you company, that’s fine.
[Baby steps, he was willing to act as a crutch while Lyney learned to be more comfortable as himself. He couldn’t just ask a twin to suddenly forget his other half was missing.
But he could at least make sure that he knew that she’d be unharmed during his time here.]
I was sent home recently. I was here for a little over six months, but when I returned not even a second had passed. Everyone was right where I left them, safe and sound.
[Grabbed they were far less sound when he left them this time, but that was a whole other story.]
That was the pinnacle of his whole existence. His sister was such a huge part of his world, a comfort he'd almost taken for granted because she was always there at his side. She was the one he always went to, and she understood him more than any other person out there so his walls came down to reveal the 'real' him underneath all the lies and smiles.
The Lyney who was not so cheerful and less talkative.
If someone else could accept that side of him and not shun him for it? Just maybe he could make the steps to try and let himself rely on another person who wasn't his family. It was like the traveler, who he pretty much considered family already... so why couldn't he make the steps to do so with someone like Vil who clearly had him figured out? ]
You might regret offering that to me. I could end up being quite the handful.
[ Such was half joking but also truthful in nature for what it was worth.
He listened quietly to Vil's words and something like relief washed over him before he knew it. That had been one of Lyney's worries from the start, that something would happen to Lynette without him at her side. Time stood still for them back home so she was still okay and not in any danger, the realization fully settling in now. ]
She's safe. That's what I was worried about since my arrival. [ A somewhat hoarse, rough laugh bubbled up from deep within his throat. ] You're right. It does make me feel a bit better knowing that.
[That comment actually got a laugh out of him. Really, like this sad, fretful little magician could even come close to the sheer headache that was the combined power of Rook Hunt and Epel Felmier.]
You would have to work pretty hard to test my patience. I manage a whole dorm of teenagers back home, I think I can handle one little magician.
[He felt some of that tension melt away, and Vil couldn’t help but give him a little extra squeeze in support. That was good. A small first step.]
I’m glad I could give you that peace of mind. Your sister is safe, and right now it’s time to focus on you. And on that subject, I don’t suppose you still feel like you can eat?
[ The laughter combined with that casual comment was enough to bring forth a chuckle from him. It was fairly genuine for what it was worth. ]
Good to know.
[ He blinked a couple times once he'd registered that question, exhaling a soft hum. Now that the main issue had been tackled and his worries properly assuaged? His mind could focus on the subject of food and Lyney genuinely was wondering if he was hungry or not.
A second passed, then he finally pulled back with a small, weary smile on his face. No sign of the mask for the time being. ]
Food really does seem like a great idea. I can still eat, promise.
[ Exhaustion truly was setting in and Lyney didn't know how much longer he could hold out but he also did wanna eat before passing out for who knew how long. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Vil took the pan off the heat and turned to put all his focus on Lyney.]
Hasn’t it? Because you’re falling apart at the seams without it, and I would say that’s a big problem you’ve likely been teetering around instead of fixing for a very long time.
[Vil waited for Lyney to get the pasta through the strainer , the last thing this boy needed was to get jostled while playing with boiling water.]
Lyney, come here.
[Vil gently and slowly took Lyney’s hand once he was free of his tail, and pulled the boy into a hug. He seemed to desperately need one right now.
This boy was so embroiled in that toxic masculinity “men don’t cry” nonsense, and he was having none of that.]
You’re not okay right now, and there’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve suffered trauma on top of trauma, and now you’ve been taken here. No one is expecting you to be fine. In fact, I would honestly be incredibly unsettled if you were completely fine.
I’m not sure what you’re trying to prove, or who you’re even trying to prove it to, but there’s no point. You’ve faced your hardships and come out on top. That’s enough.
no subject
Once the pasta had properly been strained, Lyney hesitated and just about backed away once the other took his hand. He went to protest but found himself in a hug that made his eyes widen, breath catching in his throat.
It was so warm and his heart ached horribly, as if gripped in a painful vice. A reminder how much he missed the contact from his sister, who definitely wasn't here. She wouldn't have avoided him for this long and just trying to insist Vaeros was keeping her from him just didn't feel right. How long could he have kept pretending she wasn't...? It was a bitter, souring thought and his shoulders slumped a little, bringing up his arms as to gently hug Vil in turn. ]
...Is it... really enough?
[ Lyney's voice is quiet, unsure and nothing like his usual self. That can't be helped, and the same could be said for how he couldn't afford to pull away just yet. ]
Trauma on top of trauma? You make it sound so bad... but it really isn't. We have a place to call our home and we're safe there... things have gotten better since we were saved by Father that day.
[ In his eyes, there was nothing wrong with that. Not being on the streets and having a warm home for his sister was all he could have asked for. They'd met Freminet and now look where they were. How could that be so wrong? ]
no subject
[He had to chuckle a little at that, a boy that fought his way out of poverty with his sibling by picking up magic, and here he is thinking it's not that big of a deal.]
You were on the streets as a child, and not only did you manage to avoid harming yourself for the sake of an income, you picked up a trade all on your own. Not everyone can accomplish that, very few could, in fact.
[Survival may not seem like the greatest accomplishment to the one that lived the experience, but perhaps he needed the perspective of a normal outsider to spell it out for him a bit better. ]
But that doesn't mean you haven't been hurt by your experiences, and having a better life now doesn't magically make those old wounds disappear.
This is the first time you've been forced to be separated from your sister like this since the incident you told me about, isn't it?
[Lyney's level of delusions over where she might be didn't come out of nowhere. He was trying to cope with something he was struggling to handle. It was why he was leaning into this hug now, and why Vil was making it a point to gently rub Lyney's back now, to try and further coax him into relaxing. They were talking, Vil was making some headway. The mask was gone, at least for the moment, so Vil was here to offer the comfort he needed to get back on his feet.]
Now tell me, who would possibly have the right to tell you, after what you've experienced, that you're not allowed to show your sadness and fear?
no subject
He'd kept both himself and his sister alive, managed to get them off the streets and survived things most normal people might not have been able to. Learning magic had been hard and time consuming but he'd managed it, and now was VERY well known all across Fontaine for his and Lynette's shows. That wasn't something normal people could have done so easily, huh?
Lyney opened his mouth to say something; anything at all. There were no protests he could really manage, lies dying on his tongue as fast as they formed. His real thoughts bitter like poison and harder to ignore. ]
Yeah... it is.
[ The truth felt hard to admit but didn't taste as sour to him as he thought it'd be, a quiet admittance to his housemate whose hand was soothing as it rubbed at his back. Archons, he was entirely too tired and this moment was truly making him begin to realize this.
He closed his eyes and a slight, bitter laugh escaped him, lips curled into a wry smile even if Vil couldn't see it. ]
Father always told us that we shouldn't show weakness in front of others. That's always how it's been for as long as i've been there.
no subject
You know, in my world that was a common mindset as well. That boys shouldn’t cry, that they had to be strong and never show “weakness”.
But people started realizing that forcing boys into that role was hurting them and causing more damage rather than making them “stronger”. Your father simply might not know better yet.
[He hoped by phrasing it gently it would be easier to Lyney to accept it. Vil knew nothing of his father, so he wasn’t in a place to judge what he was assuming was a “him”. Vil absolutely was judging him regardless, but he wasn’t about to make that known. Lyney clearly held his father in high regard, so framing it like a regular human mistake might make it easier to accept.]
It’s like acting. I get paid quite a bit to act, because it requires a lot of skill, focus, and energy to do well. In short, it’s exhausting, and that’s only doing it for short bursts of time.
Pretending to be “strong” and in control is using the same set of skills and effort, but there’s not even any payout. There’s no break either. Is it really so surprising that you’ve worn yourself out?
So come now, there’s no need act if no one’s paying you for it. Save that for the stage, not your house.
no subject
Granted the information given was limited so it wasn't like Vil knew otherwise, and he wouldn't fault him for it. All it meant generally was it was similar to what he had going on back home, but before he could really comment on that? First and foremost was that one comment about his father. ]
I'd love if it was something like that but... she definitely knows better. We cannot complete our jobs properly if we let our emotions cloud our judgment or actions, so it's not just the boys who were told that.
[ Given that he was sure Father wanted him to succeed her, it felt all the more important that he keep things up the best he could. That's what instinct told him, anyway.
Then there was the perspective of someone who had an idea what it was like to be doing this sort of thing all the time. He'd just been acting. Pretending. Telling himself that he was fine. That he'd be okay. It was better that he had been the one to end up here and not Lynette or Freminet, but in the end it'd just worn him down to this point where he didn't want to leave this warm embrace.
A soft breath exhaled out from him, seeming to now fully relax as fingers curled in the fabric of Vil's shirt a bit more. What followed was quiet but Vil would still be able to catch it. ]
...hah... I... really miss Lynette. It hurts not having her here..
no subject
Well, he’s not going to ask. Lyney was opening up and the last thing he needed was to feel judged. Again, Vil was indeed judging, but keeping that to himself.]
I’d say the logic still applies. Outside of your work, you need to be able to drop the persona, forcing anyone to maintain that indefinitely will only cause more harm than good.
[He would have been content simply standing in silence while Lyney took the comfort he needed, but he heard those quiet, muffled words. He couldn’t take that pain away, and Lyney needed to just let himself feel it- but maybe he could help ease some of the worry.]
I can’t magically bring her here, but I might be able to put your mind at ease.
no subject
[ To an extent he understands what Vil means and where he's coming from but it's new to him. Lynette was really the only person out there who knew what the real 'him' was like, the one with all his walls down. It was part of why he found her not being here to be especially hard on him, too many unknown factors having him keep up his guard more than usual.
He was incredibly drained and tired, not really registering that he was almost clinging to the other teen at this point.
Instinct still made it hard for him to completely let down ALL of his walls but enough of them were down due to his exhaustion that this was even possible. His nerves were absolutely shot and it felt like he was grasping at straws with some of the things he'd tried to rationalize lately, and that wasn't even counting how he wanted to try and make a name for himself here but it felt so wrong to try and do so without Lynette. ]
Oh? How would you do that?
[ A lot of the usual cheer was lacking from his voice, but there was still enough interest there that Vil would hopefully be able to tell that he was genuinely curious here.
Otherwise? Lyney sure was content to remain exactly where he was at the moment. ]
no subject
And I’ll be here to help, even if the only thing you’re comfortable asking of me is to help distract you, or just to keep you company, that’s fine.
[Baby steps, he was willing to act as a crutch while Lyney learned to be more comfortable as himself. He couldn’t just ask a twin to suddenly forget his other half was missing.
But he could at least make sure that he knew that she’d be unharmed during his time here.]
I was sent home recently. I was here for a little over six months, but when I returned not even a second had passed. Everyone was right where I left them, safe and sound.
[Grabbed they were far less sound when he left them this time, but that was a whole other story.]
no subject
That was the pinnacle of his whole existence. His sister was such a huge part of his world, a comfort he'd almost taken for granted because she was always there at his side. She was the one he always went to, and she understood him more than any other person out there so his walls came down to reveal the 'real' him underneath all the lies and smiles.
The Lyney who was not so cheerful and less talkative.
If someone else could accept that side of him and not shun him for it? Just maybe he could make the steps to try and let himself rely on another person who wasn't his family. It was like the traveler, who he pretty much considered family already... so why couldn't he make the steps to do so with someone like Vil who clearly had him figured out? ]
You might regret offering that to me. I could end up being quite the handful.
[ Such was half joking but also truthful in nature for what it was worth.
He listened quietly to Vil's words and something like relief washed over him before he knew it. That had been one of Lyney's worries from the start, that something would happen to Lynette without him at her side. Time stood still for them back home so she was still okay and not in any danger, the realization fully settling in now. ]
She's safe. That's what I was worried about since my arrival. [ A somewhat hoarse, rough laugh bubbled up from deep within his throat. ] You're right. It does make me feel a bit better knowing that.
no subject
You would have to work pretty hard to test my patience. I manage a whole dorm of teenagers back home, I think I can handle one little magician.
[He felt some of that tension melt away, and Vil couldn’t help but give him a little extra squeeze in support. That was good. A small first step.]
I’m glad I could give you that peace of mind. Your sister is safe, and right now it’s time to focus on you. And on that subject, I don’t suppose you still feel like you can eat?
Don’t force yourself if you can’t.
no subject
Good to know.
[ He blinked a couple times once he'd registered that question, exhaling a soft hum. Now that the main issue had been tackled and his worries properly assuaged? His mind could focus on the subject of food and Lyney genuinely was wondering if he was hungry or not.
A second passed, then he finally pulled back with a small, weary smile on his face. No sign of the mask for the time being. ]
Food really does seem like a great idea. I can still eat, promise.
[ Exhaustion truly was setting in and Lyney didn't know how much longer he could hold out but he also did wanna eat before passing out for who knew how long. ]