Trust me, if there's anyone that understands, it's me. When you're self sufficient for so long, having someone trying to help you feels like you're being told you're somehow incapable, or lesser for having someone else help. Makes you just want to prove that you're capable on your own all the more. I've fallen into that trap more than a few times.
[Granted, they were for very different reasons, he was arrogant and prideful, as she was insecure, but the end result was ultimately the same.]
It's not an easy thing to fix, but I'm not expecting it to be magically fixed in a week. We can just break it up into smaller more manageable bits. How about, if something is bothering you, you come find me- all you have to do is say "I'm having a bad day" or "I've got something on my mind". I won't make you talk about it, I won't snoop. We can just spend some time together, and maybe do some activities to help you feel better? That way it's not asking for help, but getting some reassurance that I'm here if you need.
[And gives him a warning about any impending emotional breakdowns, or potentially disastrous plans.]
[ She slowly nods in understanding, though she is concerned about giving him even more burdens than she usually does... then again, does that count as having a bad day or something on her mind? It'd be super easy to fall into a cycle of 'dont want to bother about bad feelings, bad feelings grow worse, don't want to bother about the worseness', so on and so forth.
But they have time. If nothing else, they have time. ]
... I'll do my best, and not listen to the little voices that say otherwise. They're pretty loud, but your voice in my head is wayyy louder and more authoritative.
[Oh that’s… actually adorable and oddly flattering.]
Good. Let my voice tell all those bad voices to shut it, they’re less than a bag of discount potatoes.
[And he wasn’t going to make this only about her learning to be better, he had admitted he needed to as well. Hopefully that would make it easier for her to believe they were in this together.]
And, for my part, I’ll also be working on being more open with my feelings too. We’ll work on it together.
[And done they’d gotten the hard part out of the way…]
Webby, do you remember when I first cursed out house? When the Skeksis were attacking? How I fell ill and was snappish for about a week after?
Well, I was essentially in the very early stages of blotting. You see, magic from my world creates a toxic byproduct when we cast spells. The more you accumulate the more it affects your mind, and begins to warp your thoughts, and the more emotionally unstable you are, the easier it becomes to overblot. When a mage overblots a parasitic creature is born from the blot, it feeds off the mage's negative emotions and magic, and forms a "phantom". If that phantom manages to drain the mage to death they retain their form and are let loose upon the world.
Normally we carry something called a "magestone" that acts like a filter and absorbs the blot in our stead allowing us to cast freely. If our casting outpaces what the magestone allows then we overblot, if we're struggling emotionally the threshold for how much we have to cast before overblotting is lowered. I have no magestone here, and my signature spells is very "heavy", so I accumulated a fair amount in a short time, but I was emotionally sound enough that it didn't progress past that.
[And... for his story. He did just say they were going to be more open, and as much as he hated the topic, he'd be the example he hoped Webby to try and strive for.]
Hold this at the top and don't open it. I managed to collect a small sample when I fell ill, and thought it might find use in a potion, but I've been too wary to actually use it.
When I overblotted back home, it was much like how I said it went in the story. I was unaware my situation had been bothering me to the extent it was, as you know I practice vigorous self care, and I suspect that kept things at bay for a long time... but I had been accumulating blot rapidly before the competition. I became obsessive, but it was a slow change that I didn't notice anything wrong. I did something I would never normally do, and the guilt pushed me past my limit... and I overblotted.
I have no memory of what I did right before or even during, but blot brings out the worst in a person. This is secondhand information that I was told after the fact, but all of my ugliness and despair consumed me, and my addled mind told me the best solution to this was to slay anyone who saw me in such a state. I managed to curse the very air making it toxic and impassable. No help could get in, and no one could go out to escape me and seek help.
I am very lucky both to have survived, and that I didn't kill anyone in the ordeal.
[ Webby stays silent during story time, and when handled the vial, she gives it a thorough inspection while making sure it stays shut. There's much to think about.
A poison that accelerates the worse someone feels... given how stressful life can be here, she's rather amazed he hasn't overblotted here at least once. And again, the guilt creeps in - has she ever made that problem worse as well? How much of this inky stuff did she contribute? ]
... Have you tried wishing for a magestone here? If you don't have the shards, I could try wishing for you. It must be really scary, having to use your magic and risking your life for it...
[ As much as she enjoys learning and using magic, she's not about to get excited about something that's clearly caused Vil so much agony. Even if it does find it hard to believe he could hurt anyone that didn't deserve it! He is her hero, after all. ]
I’ll be honest, when I first arrived it was before my overblot, so I didn’t see anything to worry about. Overblotting is exceedingly rare, so I didn’t think I had to worry about it.
I’ll admit I’m considerably more wary of it now. I have to be, I’m at a higher risk of overblotting now that I’ve overblotted once already. But as long as I’m careful, it shouldn’t push me past the earliest signs of blotting.
[Her offer does make him smile, she’s too sweet, really. But he was of the belief that she could afford to be more selfish. She shouldn’t have to worry about taking care of her designated adult.]
That’s a very sweet offer, Webby, but you should spend your shards on yourself. I plan on being my magic and my magestone engraved grimoire together. Currently I only have access to the one spell, so I’m not too worried.
When I do I’ll take you for a broom ride. How does that sound?
[ Oh, she'll be spending shards on herself, don't you worry...
Cue the next big distraction. ]
THAT SOUNDS GREAT! And so much fun! I bet you fly as amazingly as you do... everything else! It's so cool how so many people have mastered flying-solo in their worlds! Usually we have to take the Sunchaster and have Launchpad fly and crash us around the world!
[ is there any detail of her world that doesn't instill worry in others? ]
[This may be what causes Vil to have that second overblot.]
Actually, I’ll be the first to admit, but I’m rather average when it comes to flying.
[As much as he loved praise and adoration, he wasn’t going to oversell himself. He didn’t want Webby to put him on some imaginary pedestal that he couldn’t live up to. He’d be the first to admit his shortcomings.]
I didn’t really bother learning to properly use my magic until college, so I’m behind students that have special training or picked it up for sport when they were young.
You pretty much hit the mail on the head. My focus was on my work, and I didn’t see magic as with pursuing. My father isn’t a mage, so I only learned enough so I wouldn’t accidentally set anything on fire, or any similar mishaps.
[Hopefully it would be enough to make her goals seem more attainable. He wasn’t putting himself down of course, but he was never more critical to others than he was on himself. He knew his strengths, he knew his flaws, and each day he worked to improve humans further.]
It wasn’t until I got an invitation to Night Raven College that I seriously considered it. It’s a very prestigious school that only accepts mages with great potential, and I apparently have a very abundant reserve of magic which must have caught their attention- but it’s another thing that makes me susceptible to overblotting. It takes a lot of magic to overblot and form a phantom.
[ Night Raven College... she hopes one day she could go there too! She kind of hoped to see any school someday, really, but NRC was now at the top of the list. ]
Well, as long as I'm here, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you never overblot again! This will be a blot-free zone!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Trust me, if there's anyone that understands, it's me. When you're self sufficient for so long, having someone trying to help you feels like you're being told you're somehow incapable, or lesser for having someone else help. Makes you just want to prove that you're capable on your own all the more. I've fallen into that trap more than a few times.
[Granted, they were for very different reasons, he was arrogant and prideful, as she was insecure, but the end result was ultimately the same.]
It's not an easy thing to fix, but I'm not expecting it to be magically fixed in a week. We can just break it up into smaller more manageable bits. How about, if something is bothering you, you come find me- all you have to do is say "I'm having a bad day" or "I've got something on my mind". I won't make you talk about it, I won't snoop. We can just spend some time together, and maybe do some activities to help you feel better? That way it's not asking for help, but getting some reassurance that I'm here if you need.
[And gives him a warning about any impending emotional breakdowns, or potentially disastrous plans.]
Does that feel a little more manageable?
no subject
But they have time. If nothing else, they have time. ]
... I'll do my best, and not listen to the little voices that say otherwise. They're pretty loud, but your voice in my head is wayyy louder and more authoritative.
[ This is meant to be a compliment. ]
no subject
Good. Let my voice tell all those bad voices to shut it, they’re less than a bag of discount potatoes.
[And he wasn’t going to make this only about her learning to be better, he had admitted he needed to as well. Hopefully that would make it easier for her to believe they were in this together.]
And, for my part, I’ll also be working on being more open with my feelings too. We’ll work on it together.
[And done they’d gotten the hard part out of the way…]
Now, you want to hear about overblotting?
no subject
YES YES YES I WANT TO HEAR EVERY SINGLE LAST DETAIL! Don't leave anything out! I want everything!
[ Oop. She hesitates, then sits back down, chuckling nervously. ]
... Please.
no subject
Webby, do you remember when I first cursed out house? When the Skeksis were attacking? How I fell ill and was snappish for about a week after?
Well, I was essentially in the very early stages of blotting. You see, magic from my world creates a toxic byproduct when we cast spells. The more you accumulate the more it affects your mind, and begins to warp your thoughts, and the more emotionally unstable you are, the easier it becomes to overblot. When a mage overblots a parasitic creature is born from the blot, it feeds off the mage's negative emotions and magic, and forms a "phantom". If that phantom manages to drain the mage to death they retain their form and are let loose upon the world.
Normally we carry something called a "magestone" that acts like a filter and absorbs the blot in our stead allowing us to cast freely. If our casting outpaces what the magestone allows then we overblot, if we're struggling emotionally the threshold for how much we have to cast before overblotting is lowered. I have no magestone here, and my signature spells is very "heavy", so I accumulated a fair amount in a short time, but I was emotionally sound enough that it didn't progress past that.
[And... for his story. He did just say they were going to be more open, and as much as he hated the topic, he'd be the example he hoped Webby to try and strive for.]
Hold this at the top and don't open it. I managed to collect a small sample when I fell ill, and thought it might find use in a potion, but I've been too wary to actually use it.
When I overblotted back home, it was much like how I said it went in the story. I was unaware my situation had been bothering me to the extent it was, as you know I practice vigorous self care, and I suspect that kept things at bay for a long time... but I had been accumulating blot rapidly before the competition. I became obsessive, but it was a slow change that I didn't notice anything wrong. I did something I would never normally do, and the guilt pushed me past my limit... and I overblotted.
I have no memory of what I did right before or even during, but blot brings out the worst in a person. This is secondhand information that I was told after the fact, but all of my ugliness and despair consumed me, and my addled mind told me the best solution to this was to slay anyone who saw me in such a state. I managed to curse the very air making it toxic and impassable. No help could get in, and no one could go out to escape me and seek help.
I am very lucky both to have survived, and that I didn't kill anyone in the ordeal.
no subject
A poison that accelerates the worse someone feels... given how stressful life can be here, she's rather amazed he hasn't overblotted here at least once. And again, the guilt creeps in - has she ever made that problem worse as well? How much of this inky stuff did she contribute? ]
... Have you tried wishing for a magestone here? If you don't have the shards, I could try wishing for you. It must be really scary, having to use your magic and risking your life for it...
[ As much as she enjoys learning and using magic, she's not about to get excited about something that's clearly caused Vil so much agony. Even if it does find it hard to believe he could hurt anyone that didn't deserve it! He is her hero, after all. ]
no subject
I’ll admit I’m considerably more wary of it now. I have to be, I’m at a higher risk of overblotting now that I’ve overblotted once already. But as long as I’m careful, it shouldn’t push me past the earliest signs of blotting.
[Her offer does make him smile, she’s too sweet, really. But he was of the belief that she could afford to be more selfish. She shouldn’t have to worry about taking care of her designated adult.]
That’s a very sweet offer, Webby, but you should spend your shards on yourself. I plan on being my magic and my magestone engraved grimoire together. Currently I only have access to the one spell, so I’m not too worried.
When I do I’ll take you for a broom ride. How does that sound?
no subject
Cue the next big distraction. ]
THAT SOUNDS GREAT! And so much fun! I bet you fly as amazingly as you do... everything else! It's so cool how so many people have mastered flying-solo in their worlds! Usually we have to take the Sunchaster and have Launchpad fly and crash us around the world!
[ is there any detail of her world that doesn't instill worry in others? ]
no subject
Actually, I’ll be the first to admit, but I’m rather average when it comes to flying.
[As much as he loved praise and adoration, he wasn’t going to oversell himself. He didn’t want Webby to put him on some imaginary pedestal that he couldn’t live up to. He’d be the first to admit his shortcomings.]
I didn’t really bother learning to properly use my magic until college, so I’m behind students that have special training or picked it up for sport when they were young.
no subject
How come you didn't use your magic until then? Was movie-life too busy for it?
no subject
[Hopefully it would be enough to make her goals seem more attainable. He wasn’t putting himself down of course, but he was never more critical to others than he was on himself. He knew his strengths, he knew his flaws, and each day he worked to improve humans further.]
It wasn’t until I got an invitation to Night Raven College that I seriously considered it. It’s a very prestigious school that only accepts mages with great potential, and I apparently have a very abundant reserve of magic which must have caught their attention- but it’s another thing that makes me susceptible to overblotting. It takes a lot of magic to overblot and form a phantom.
no subject
Well, as long as I'm here, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you never overblot again! This will be a blot-free zone!